Posts

My Life ~ April 2022

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Via Pinterest Hi. I'm back. And for the first time in a long time, I'm really, really happy. I'm not turning to this blog out of guilt or even to vent. I'm writing this because I actually want to. Which feels weird. I can't tell you the last time I wanted to write anything. The last time I posted anything was September of 2021. That post was... odd.  I was writing angry. It's probably been almost a year since I was in a good head space, and I can see it in that post. I've pretty much changed everything in my life since that September post. Exactly three things have stayed the same: my family, my job, and my cat. Literally everything else has changed. I moved, I have a different friend group, and I'm just overall trying to take control of my life and make it better. I'm making a lot of positive changes in my day to day. I'm eating and sleeping better. I'm spending more time with better people. I'm talking with my family more. I adopted a k

Kindness isn't Free, and That's Okay

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Via Pinterest So I saw an image on Pinterest earlier. All it said was "Kind words cost nothing". It's a common sentiment. I've heard its like a million times. You probably have too. If your upbringing was anything like mine, you were taught that kindness was good and that you should always be kind. But here's the thing: kind words can cost a lot.  They take energy. They take effort. They take more mental space than I like to admit. It is so much easier for me to say the sarcastic thing that immediately pops into my head. It's so much easier for me to do the bare minimum all the time. Kind words are hard. Kindness isn't natural. Most days, I don't want to put the effort in. Most days, I want to be mean to everyone, including myself. And I'm learning that it's okay for that to be true. Somedays, I fail to be kind. That's human nature. A lot of the time, I'm trying my best and coming up short. and that's okay too. But you know what the

Tonight

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Via Pinteresrt It's dark now. My apartment is quiet. I'm watching a movie on Netflix. I like it. It's good. Onyx is nearby. I'm wrapped in a blanket. My mind is quiet. I'm a little lonely. I haven't seen one of my friends much lately. I miss her. Work has been hard. The hours are long. Management demands a lot. Part of me wants to cry. Part of me wants to sleep. I'm not sure what exactly I'm writing. I should probably delete all of this. It's nonsense. But it's also the truth. It's me right now. It's me as I am in this moment. So I won't delete it. I'll post it. Because these moments are important. They're me as I really am. They're me without the noise and masks. I just am. I'm not afraid to be me anymore. I want to know who I am. I can't learn that if I constantly erase the words that are me. I'm Moriah. Tonight, I am quiet.

One Year after Moving Out

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  Via "Life Truths" Once again, it's been a bit. But I'm tired,and I have tacos, so what better time to be honest??? Some of y'all may remember that I moved out of my parents's house about a year ago. If you do, you may also remember that it was a really hard time for me. I struggled with a lot of things, but ultimately it was the right decision for me. So today, I kinda just wanted to look back and see what this year has been like for me. Let's get started. The first big thing is that I haven't been suicidal in about a year. And I can't explain how huge that is for me. To have been heavily suicidal since I was thirteen years old and then have three hundred sixty five days without the desire to end myself... There aren't words for how that feels. (Everything else is going to seem really unimportant after that one, btw.) I guess the second thing is that I haven't written much since moving out. Part of that is because I finished The Dragon
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Via  Google Um.... Hi. This is Moriah. I know it's been... a while. I know I said I would post more in 2021, but this blog isn't always the most important thing in my life. And I'm learning to accept that is okay. I always come back to it. So as much as I want to share a detailed plan on how I will be posting on this day every week, at this time.... I'm not going to. That's not what this blog is about anymore. This blog isn't even about my writing anymore. This blog is about me. This blog is about my thoughts and emotions and just the little everyday things that make up my life. Cause guess what? I really love my life right now. It's actually kind of perfect. Am I perfect? Not by a long shot. But I'm happy, I'm healthy, and I'm content. Can you really ask anything else from me? So yeah, that's about it. I took a break from writing, but I'm slowly picking it back up. I may or may not share about it here. I still love my cat more than I pro

What is peace?

What is peace? The quiet moment before I'm truly awake What is peace? The vibration of my cat's rumbling purr What is peace? Friends piled on the couch What is peace? The joy of loving my life

Looking Back at 2020

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  From "Life Truths" I think that we'd all agree that 2020 was an interesting year, to say the least. But as I look back at it, I do realize one thing. See, I chose "renewal" to be the word of my 2020. That was what I was focusing on. That was what I wanted to see in my life. And I did. It was hard. It was scary. But I saw renewal. In my everyday life, I'm closer to who I am inside. I am happier. My depression is better. So maybe I didn't sell any books. In fact, 2020 wasn't the greatest year for my writing at all. Maybe I didn't keep up with my bullet journal all the time. Maybe I didn't post here as regularly as I wanted to. But it was a good year for me. 2020 was a year of renewal. As promised, here's a recent picture of Onyx. She's happy and healthy and one of the greatest things to come out of this year.